so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
