For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think I just sharted jello shots
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
