Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
with your own penis?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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