Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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