im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
