I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
