what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
