where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
