I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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