your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
