Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
