does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
