well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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