i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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