i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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