I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
