So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
