He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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