ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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