it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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