Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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