can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
