i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm just crazy horny about you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
