UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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