The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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