Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
