I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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