so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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