Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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