im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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