I want you more than these girls want KFC
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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