What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
