is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
