Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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