I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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