Can Purell be used as lube?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
