1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize