I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
