New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize