your thong is hanging out like whoa
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize