Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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