Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize