After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
what day is it and did you see me today?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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