I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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