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• (559): View more from California

  my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.

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• (323): View more from California

  We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...

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