Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
