Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
