I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
