My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
