Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
