We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
