Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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