The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
