Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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