Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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