I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
