in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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