I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
