Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
