maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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