I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
