Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
PANTIES FOUND
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