I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
