If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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