i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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