my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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